Carry On Golfing

Farcical, ludicrous and unprecedented. No, this isn't a description of my performance in the monthly stableford at Royal Ascot yesterday. I only need one word for that, inept. I'm referring to the chaotic scenes yesterday involving the changing of the course during a competition and general confusion which made the event resemble a Carry On film for the laughable way everything was handled.

I am usually the first to say what a fantastic job the greenkeepers do for the club and how well our competitions are run but yesterday was plain awful. The flags had been on the proper greens for normal play on Saturday but overnight into Sunday morning there was a heavy frost and they decided to put all the flags onto temporary greens for the competition and make the event a non qualifier. I'd no problem with that at all.

What then followed is hard to verify as I was just about to go out. It appears that some of the members complained that the greens were thawing rapidly and that they should be reopened. It seemed that a decision was made to make the booked tee times from 8.00am until 10.30am a competition on its own using the temps and that anybody rolling up wouldn't be able to play the stableford but could enjoy the course as fully open as conditions allowed (three greens were still closed and on temps). Again that made perfect sense to me.

So there we are playing the competition and my partners and I get to the 15th green. Looking casually down the 16th as we waited to putt out I saw the flag was on the proper green. Surely not.  A look at the 17th confirmed it. The greenkeeper had moved the flags before the whole of the field had played the course effectively meaning some had played a different course to those coming up behind. The problem was then compounded when we found out that the group putting out on the adjacent 6th green as we teed off down the last were not only part of the roll up section but had been allowed to enter the competition anyway and had enjoyed the flags on almost all of the normal greens to date.

Not surprisingly there was much consternation in the bar. Most thought the event should have been null and void as there were three separate courses in play (18 temps for the early starters, the last three holes on temps for some and the majority on normal greens for the late starters). I accept that it was a non-qualifier anyway and so handicaps wouldn't be affected but there was still the normal pro shop vouchers on offer for the winner. In the end the scores stood and my rubbish back nine and a total of 28 points was only good enough for 39th place.

Mistakes were made but thankfully even the most seasoned of members can ever recall anything like this ever happening before and I'm sure the lessons of the decisions made will be learned. Life will go on and our members, like those at many other clubs are normally at their happiest when they have something to grumble about anyway! On a plus point, given the heavy rain we had on Friday and early Saturday morning falling on already saturated ground from the melted snow, I was amazed at how dry most of the fairways were. It is testament to the work done by the greenstaff throughout the year to ensure the drainage is functioning as well as it can. Of the three greens I putted on, I holed a great 12 footer on the 16th, a 6 footer on the 17th and a testy 4 footer at the last so in my opinion they are in great nick.

What a carry on.